love is patient...

i feel...cold. i feel...hurt. i feel...nothing.

what happened to me? what happened to you? where in all of this did it turn in to a game? who cares who wins? who cares who gives in first? who really cares at all.

i ache for the person i used to be. i want to be her again. i want you to be who you used to be too. i want you to love me for me again. what did i do wrong? did i change that much that you don't even see me anymore? it isn't supposed to hurt this much..."Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense..." this isn't love. this is stubborn pride. i long for you to love me...and for me to be able to look past myself and love you. but i don't know how to...

i guess i thought i changed for the better, that i changed into the person i was supposed to be...but it couldn't be this...i feel like i am wandering around in the dark. alone. so very alone. i used to feel your touch. i used to feel your embrace. but now all i feel is the void. the endless void. but what do i do? i need direction. i need something to matter for me. most of all, i just need a friend. but i just can't find one. i'm not a very good friend though, so what should i expect. not much i guess...

i guess i need to keep going...keep looking...because this cannot be the end. i can still hope...

but at the end of the day, the truth still remains...sometimes all you need is a hug. and as a cold, constant reminder, it is just really a heart breaker when no one is there to give one...

"There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.” 1st Corinthians 13:4